Get Me Bodied.

Bubbly.

Me, in love?

I was hanging out with Daria kanina and he compared both our heart situations. His is possible, mine is not. He could expect some, while I can't. His is attached to reality while mine, full of pretentions. On my part actually (and not in a bad way.) You see, I am so much in love with this person whom I could not love because of instances that hinders our success. Everyday I pray at night hoping nagbago na isip niya, maybe today you'll fully understand what true love really means. Maybe today you'll wake up realizing how much I care about you, and makes you kinda wonder why. You are more than good-looks and personality. You are that person that makes me believe that true love could exist, maybe not as intense as I've expected it to be, but you made me believe in that special 'silence in the atmosphere' that people get when they find the one. And I never told you this, but yes, sometimes things are really not meant to be said. I am not being torpe. I am not chickened out at all. I am being true lang to myself. Na I couldn't have you this lifetime...

I hate Daria for being correct that whole time. In my world you are so alive. But really, it's me losing my attachment to the rest of the world's world. I wish I could express how much I love you, pero I can't. It's better this way. Left unsaid. Wherever you go, asleep or not, near or far, just a simple thought of you makes me smile and shiver. Please I beg you...stay with me forever...

Soulmates.

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What do you look for in a partner?

Someone whom you can flaunt along the streets. Someone who could protect you whenever you need it. Someone who gives you what you need when you need it, at the right needing moment. Someone who wants you so bad it makes you feel so alive and gives you a feeling that you are an enormous part of this superficial world.Someone who tells you from beginning 'til end that you are beautiful and that you are a rare find. Somebody who gives you that feeling of comfort at times of need. Someone who annoys you in public thus making you look like a lovable and infamous person. Someone you'd flirt around cute guys to entice them to drool over your hot, sexiness.

No.
No.
No.

And more no's.

I want someone who'd tell me na I exist. I want someone who'd tell me he loves me for who I am, for what I am, wherever I am. Someone who could withstand my puzzled and very much confused mind experience. Someone who can stand me when I nag and when I talk a lot of none sense. Someone who stand right next to me even if I am wearing every color in the color wheel, and all hues that are not even yet invented. Someone who'd see me not as a clown, but as a prince in the making. That someone who could change my perspective of things, you who could convince me that this world is not made from perfection, this world has a lot of evilness, and that I am not to entrust just about anybody. That somebody who wouldn't worry me when my back is far away from his. That person who could make me believe.......

That true love exist.

What do you look for in a partner?

Someone who could give you more than a five reasons why you are beautiful? Someone who could make your knees tremble without knowing why? Or someone who has it all?

Sometimes I just wish love is asexual and non-logical. Having no perspectives, no norms, no reasons. Just pure emotions. No one to dictate what or why you should do things when you need to do it. No rulebook ever written that would command you how to make a relationship work. Not letting Einstein affect Cupid when you have found that special person that makes your heartbeat triple times per second. Not knowing why you love someone, not knowing why you miss someone, not knowing why you want to spend your entire life with this persona. Maybe we are really living in a fictitious world after all.

So what do you really, really look for in a partner?

That very person whom, when you are at your worst, sees your best. Someone who sees queenliness in your peasant form. Someone whom you do not understand why he or she accepts you, catches you when you fall, accepts your full personality, and still loves you for your indifference. Someone who makes you wonder...why, in my ugliness and full of imperfection life do you love me? And that's why I love you...

The DO.

I got over my bangs na (people keeps on quoting it as the emo-funk look, whereas I call it the whatever-look-i-just-want-to-look-good-lang look) and yeah, I had it chopped na so I could go back to my spiky-look (or as Ate Dora of Children's quotes it, 'Son Gokou'). Yeah, I wanna look good lang when I go back sa work after my 1week leave. Sana may naka-miss sa sobrang kaguluhan ko noh? Wouldn't it be funny na may makakamiss sa isa sa mga pinakamagulong tao sa mundo? Haha... How I wish.

Anyways I want to dye my locks...what color kaya...Ayoko ng chocolate brown nakakaitim...pag light naman baka magmukha kong jologs...hmm... Hay ewan. Siguro I'm bored to death lang talaga. Yeah I think so din... I'll just deal with my hair na muna and try to work it out.

Anyways, I've had a blast today. My pamangkin Tin-tin who's now 2 went to our house kanina kasi everybody's out in theirs. She is one of a kind, very much talented and very much matalino. I am so proud of her. I kept on imprinting on her little mind to call me 'Tim Yup-yup-yup!', and yeah, she remembers until the end of the day. (Although most times she calls me 'Tim Cap'). Can't blame a kid for trying. Anyways besides her I was watching cartoon lang the whole day. I love the 'Rugrats' talaga, pero nothing compares to the 'Simpsons.' Whoever created them must be sent to heaven and grabted to go back to earth again and again.

Love 'em.

Tomorrow I'm gonna start my journey into the outside world. I'll bring somebody a bag of lunch (NOTE TO SELF: Favorite food ~ Mushroom burger). Then I'll just leave that sa locker niya and I'll head to Makati to have lunch with my girl pals ~ Boss Ferds, Jess, and Ms. Monch. Then I'll drop by Tower to visit my super twin Jobelle whom I miss soooo much. Plus there's see how they're doing na back there. I mean, come on, I know na I am not in the position to judge anybody, pero I just want to see who I'm competing with. It's all for the heck of having a healthy competition ya' all, nothing judgmental or insecuring thing. If there's such term.

Ho yeah, another note to self, find the bridal girls and Manuelito. I miss them so much!

To a week of kapok-pokan! :)

Can I die na?

I am in deep s**t.

I'm in love.

I swear, not kidding. I do not know whatever happened to the Tim who doesn't believe in true love, or any form of love except for sexual pleasure, and sexual pleasure alone. I've got none idea where the heck that guy went, pero I do sure hope he comes back soon. I am severely damaged. Loving someone who is impossible. My journal's full of pages dedicated to you, your favorite food, our conversation that forever will haunt my hopes and dreams to be with you, and that very first time you asked me to call you up kasi you need a favor.

God I'm crazy.

L-0-8

1. Victoria Beckham on No.1 List?

What the fi-ack? I was watching MyxNews last night and they've released this news na some guy in the U.S. placed Ms. Poshy-two-shoes on the no.1 spot for the worst dressed celebrities for the year 2007. Anyways I think that guy is psychotic, imagine Ms. Vivky's in with Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and (last year's no.1 spotter) Britney Spears. I think whoever makes this ratings goes for people who makes it big this year, and fortunately, our leading lady was making a blast from going to NY, becoming a releasing her own famous fashion icon, releasing her own scent, and of course, the very much infamous reunion tour with the Spice Girls.

I mean come on. Anybody who'd put somebody like Victoria in the list of the worst Dressed Celebrity List must be really demented. And superficially living their freaking abnormal life. So there. Sue me.

2. Ms. Joyce Jimenez on GMA, DANCING.

I was stunned for the very first time by Joyce kanina sa S.O.P. whereas she shook her derrier like crazy, and she looks hotter than ever. And for real, mas nagmukha siyang bata ngayon. Or is it because she kinda looks like Marian the Marimar girl...hmm...hhhmmmmm... I like Joyce better. But she must improve her acting skills. A lot. (She's good in comedies though.)

3. Margaritas and more parties.

Yes much very much awaited leave (a.k.a. s********n, hahaha! :) has arrived and I am not the type of guy who'll just sit around and whine and feed my belly to death, nope, not this lifetime. I am in the process of 'fully-booking' my entire week starting tomorrow, Monday. Let's see, tomorrow is pampering day. At night, I will learn how to bake, the idiot way, then bring some sa store for judging. On Tuesday I'll go visit Boss Ferds @ Makati, plus the Bridal girls that I misssss soooo much (like hell), and hopefully and magulong-magulong si Manuelito whom I haven't seen na for ages. (Friend san ka nagtatago? Para kang si Britney Spears.)

KIDDING!

Haha...anyways makikipag-lunch date lang ako with Boss Ferds Team, and do a lot of catching up since I wasn't able to attend our general meeting the day before our Big Boss left for the states. On Wednesday, I think day-off crush ko nun, so I'll try to find a way na makalabas kami. And that's the only plan for the day. (Plus bake some more.) On Thursday I'll be going out sa gabi 'til kingdom come. I swear I am not coming home alone. Maximum number of peeps to tag along: X-infinity. I'll ask them to teach me how to bake. Har! :)

On Friday I plan to have a total make-over in preparation for the return of the comeback. Then sa gabi, RAMPA! Come on, it's a Friday night, I can't go out on a freaking Friday night on a work day lalo na't may pasok kami ng Saturday's. Then the day after I'm gonna spend it with my girl pals: Snooks, Cenz and Joy. Finally, it's about time. the whole day is so dedicated to them. Then last full show. On the last day of my vacation, I'm going over to Alvie's house with my Gateway pals, hopefully my crush could make it. It's her 25th b-day btw, so she really wants to celebrate with a lot of people. I doooo hope somebody could die drinking, then I'll take you home.

Har!

FULLY-BOOKED!

I have been such a BAD BOY.

I have become the worst person that I could be in front of my family. And it's all because of my sister's stupid debut. One, I don't have time to organize it all kaya Michelle has been doing most of the work. Two, I do not have enough resources, a pc for example to make the invites for one, and props that would make the set-up bongga (kaya I'm gonna rent some from our office.) I hate it lang talaga when people would reply '..ay nakalimutan ko...,' '....ay yun ba yung kailangan?,' '..pwede ba yun?,' '...ay nasave ko sa ibang file..'

I'll tell you what, that's plain stupidity and I do not entertain stupidity, it's not even on my vocabulary. Wala na kong ginawang iba kundi pagalitan kapatid ko kasi she's all palpak, she doesn't know how to expect the unexpected, or be a girlscout to put it straight up. Never siyang handa. And I hate that, nadedelay lahat, I hardly have the time to do this stupid debut tapos dinedelay pa ko ng stupidity. Damn it. I really hate this. Somebody give me a pill or something.