This is saddening.

Damn it, of all the people I could view on my frenzy list it has to be you pa. Funny thing is that I've clicked on a Beyonce youtube and it started playing that stoopid, stoopid 'Still the one I want to....' (Stoopid Shania Twain for writing that song).

Reality is, I still wanna be with you B. I miss you a lot. More than life. More than what I've got right now. Stoopid, stoopid love. It sucks bigtime. I must admit you're looking prettier than the usual. Made me miss you even more. Stoopid goodlooking people makes me miss you more and more everyday. Ho sheesh this sucks.

I still don't understand whatever happened while we were sleeping. No idea at all how it could end this quick. Stoopid me for pushing people to their limit. Stoopid me for pushing you to be somebody you're not, stoopid me for believing na I could create a difference, even stoopider for me to believe you are the one.

Stoopid, stoopid, stoopid.

B, if you could only read this, all I want is you. Having you is like being in Nirvana, I need not to look any further for anything else. I could have been a better person. We could have compromised. We could have reached for our dreams.

But now, for the four years or so that has passed, you still have the power to instantly make me cry. Cry a lot. And a whole lot. And it sucks. I'm such a stoopid person. I could never love anybody else but you. Please come back...