Teary-Eyed

Last Friday was one of my not-so-feel-good-day. Pero thanks to bestfriend the barely surviving day was in a way being cheered up. I texted bestfriend na I was going to chill at either Coffee Ex or Bo’s after my Finals exam on Stat. Boy was Stat bad. Extreme. The finals was sobrang hirap thank God mabait akong estudyante before kaya no need to worry na daw ako kasi for sure papasa na raw ako. Whew! In a way swerte si Madonna sa kin especially nung prelims namin sa Stat before kasi we got to answer the problem on our own pero parehong-pareho kami ng solution so nagtitinginan kami ng paper to check kung may mali kami na na-input sa calcu. Thanks Snooks.

Friday afternoon. Bestfriend texted me saying na pupunta sila ni close friend nila ni Mikko sa SM North. Oh boy was I excited. I happily texted Mikko na pumunta rin. Then he told me na sabay kami. Incidentally, I forgot about our class’ mini-celebration sa 1611. Gosh ininvite nga pala ko ni Japes last Monday or Tuesday na pumunta. KKB pero good enough. Kala ko manlilibre na ang mga naging Thesis of the Year eh. Anyways, so I hung out muna sa 16, chit-chat with classmates, tawanan blues, nagpahabol kaming tatlo ni Joy and Debsie sa lumilipad na ipis, then it just popped into my head, this day couldn’t get any better.

Eto na lahat ng instances eh:
1. I do know na babagsak ako sa exam ko sa Stat pero sinabihan ako ni Sir Funelas na no need to worry kasi my previous record are all good naman for sure mahahatak.

2. The Stat research slash mini-proj na I thought I would flank na naman kasi ang pangit ng gawa ko, pre-occupied with loving emotions kay bestfriend turned out to be okay. Actually, nirerecord lang niya ng nirerecord pero di niya binabasa. Whew! Life-saver! Kahit copy, paste lang and two paragraphs containing a maximum of 3-5 sentences per paragrap, umabot pa rin ako. The third paragraph was a big thanks to Sir Funelas. That’s that.

3. While at 1611, I thought, ‘gosh, I am going to miss this class. Nothing compares.’

4. Bestfriend was going to SM North. I know na ang superficial and somewhat egoistic ko na inisip kong pumunta siya dun for me. Which, until now hindi ko masagot. On our way nga to SM North Mikko was telling me na baka ganun nga ang plano…

Then there was complete silence. On my part.

Ewan ko pero this is my problem eh. Kasi ako marunong ako makiride sa tao pero may mga instances like this na pag ako dominated ng mga taong magkakakilala na natatameme ako kasi I feel do like I do not belong. Kasi look, they could even talk telepathically, ganun na sila kako-close, tapos ako I have no background pa sa kanilang lahat masyado except for some basic infos. Pero friends, don’t get me wrong. This is not a bad thing. Ganun lang talaga ko. You have to understand na baguhan pa lang ako sa group eh.

Then there was Magic Sing.

After finishing my maling order na Vanilla Frap kasi I’ve ordered for Choco Crumble, we went over to Mikko’s house. Lalo akong natameme kasi I do not sing in front of practically anybody. Well, medyo exaggerated pero, alam mo yun. Nakakahiya kasi I do not have a good one. The only place you’d hear me singing are at the bathroom, my room, and my siblings room while playing my CD’s super loud. The only time I’ve loosened up were during the ’September’ and ‘Rescue Me’ songs. Tapos I got a text message na super lasing na si Cecilia. So I’ve excused myself muna to check on my girl pals. Punta ko sa sala nila Mikko. Which, I’ve never imagined would trigger a something unbelievably horrific experience.

After my call kina Snooks I went back na on my seat sa dining area. Tinext ako nila Ana, Debs, Jape telling me how lasing Cenz was. Well, considering mahina kaming tatlo nila Snooks, a bottle of Red Horse could knock us down. Nagreply ako kay Joy kasi pinatawag niya ko sa house nila para ipagpaalam siya. When I was inputting the message ‘Yngat kayo’ whoa there it was! I did not see it pero my friends did. May tumakbo daw from the stairs to the sala na brown na creature. God was I freaked out kasi considering how matatakutin I am, silang tatlo sumisgaw din and nagkumpulan sa isang area ng dining while me, I was on another part. I was covering my eyes afraid na I might see something I might not like. Only then have I found out na their house was infested daw talaga ng supernatural creatures. Nangyayari lang daw yan pag may bagong dating sa house nila. Pero eversince dumami na ang alaga niyang pusa eh nawala na. Except today. Unfortunately they have no idea, until now, kung gaano ko katatakutin. Big time. From the time na minulto ko ng lola ko, hanggang sa mga super unusual dreams ko of death, both mine and others, considering my paranoia issues pa, damn am I a sissy for mumos.

And so we went home. Sa garage Mikko was about to show me his pet snake. Eh ang stupid front door nag-open by itself, so I freaked out. Napatakbo kaming lahat.

And then…I was lost.

Bestfriend was acting strange. No actually, that was not the time na I felt something indifferent sa amin eh. Sa Bo’s pa lang I could sense it na. Nung na kina Mikko na kami, bestfriends back was facing me almost the whole time. We barely talked. Kept on looking sa relo niya as if implying na gusto na niyang umuwi. We were not connecting. It was sad kasi I really like this person…the last two messages na nakuha ko sa kanya that night are:

San ka na?
House na. Patulog na. Exam pa kami bukas eh.

Until I’ve realized na this is another Bedan story.

I’ve texted bestfriend the day after. The only time na nagreply siya was mga tanghali na telling me to (TAKE NOTE) not text muna that time, maya na lang daw kasi busy siya with exams. Di niya ko maeentertain.

Impression. I was scared to death. One, never pa siyang nagtext ng super kumpleto ang spelling. And two, Di niya ko maeentertain. Double meaning? I don’t know

This is it. I could feel my over-analyzing self manifesting na naman as usual.

I want to get angry pero I do not have the right.

I want to demand for explanations pero simpleng texts nga lang like ‘musta?’ e walang reply.

Yup. It’s official. Another Bedan story na naman. Life is so cruel. I do not get it talaga.

Pero do not worry. I won’t go that far. Sana nagsasabi ka lang para di ako nacoconfuse sa ginagawa mo.

Pero why? One day you woke up at narealize na ‘Yikes! Na-in love ako kay Tim?’ I thought everything was going well na. Akala ko pareho na yung naiisip nating patutunguhan. All of a sudden, nawala.

Pati ba friendship dapat mawala?

What are you afraid of? Na saktan ako? O mapalapit sa kin kasi you finally realized na naconfuse lang senses mo?

Shocks please tell me.

Diba I’ve told you na before na I do not like speculating kasi I am a pessimist?

Please respond.

Kahit the friendship itira natin.

Lord please enlighten my friend. I want to keep the friendship.

And Lord, give me strength to face another painful experience.

Thank you…