Damn I'm complicated.

People change. And I'm totally hating it.

I do admit na ang daming nagbago and still changing in my life. Yeah siyempre not just mine, pero I do want to be generic this time around. Sometimes I don't get it why people just change overnight. How could that happen. One day your somebody's friend and then the next hindi ka na sigurado. Is it because rumors has been a constant part of our life na ba? Or is it because I have become a very much sought after controversial person whom I do not want to be? Is it because one gets more attention than the other that's why you define social status as something that adopts to your status? But then again I must be overthinking stuffs na naman as usual...

It's depressing how work has eaten a lot of my social life, and when I do get the chance to mingle parang lagi na lang akong bago. A friend of mine texted me one day implying (and let me quote this one for you guys kasi this is sobrang educational):

"Repeated experiences have one aim....

...to teach you what you refuse to learn."

Then yeah..maybe I always refuse to accept the fact na your friend will never be forever your friend. It's really depressing after all these time na the people whom you've grown with and have thought to be 'the one' (in a non-relationship kinda like 'the one') are just a bunch of lying fools waiting for the right time to transform you as one of their excess baggage.

As I've burnt in my book a lot of times, what is a friend anyways.

And yeah. I've been burning a lot. And that is not a good thing. You see when you'd encounter me all curled up in a corner writing on a small notebook, yeah. I'm burning. Burning all my stress, burning all my evilness, burning everything that causes imbalance in my life and trying to ground everything so I could be a true source of goodness and lightness. Burning a lot denotes me having a lot of negativity inside. And it pains. A lot.

Again I am wondering how could all of these happen in such short span of time. Parang imposible...or maybe I'm being the typical Aquarian na naman who believes we're all living in a perfect world...

Whichever way it goes, I hope I could go and get transferred to a new world. I'm so damn tired of this one.